Some days are like a beautiful sunrise rising above the mountain tops and nothing seems to go wrong. The sun shines down through the trees and takes away any darkness that might hide in the deep parts of the woods. Everything is okay and you feel whole, as if nothing but the warmth of the sunlight can touch you. These are the days when it’s easy to see God and know he’s there.
Then most other days you feel like the darkness in the deepest parts of the woods where the sunlight never gets through the thickening leaves of the dense trees. You want to see the sunrise but you are so far lost into the deep chasm of the forest that all your eyes see is darkness. These are the days you have to look within to see God.
There are times when I find myself wandering through the dark forest in my mind and it leads to places I don’t want to go. Feeling lost and like I don’t have a purpose, I lose sight of who I am or who I’m supposed to be. I’ve spent my entire life wondering what am I supposed to do with myself? How do I go on? Will I ever do anything worth remembering? As these thoughts race through a field of thorns in my mind, I feel every prick and drip of blood from the wounds they leave behind. I tell myself I’ll never be great and I’ll never find my reason for living. Every day I do my best but my best isn’t good enough so the cycle continues stumbling through the darkness with nowhere to go. I tried different things I thought would make me happy but usually they come to an end where only sadness resides and the void within is never filled.
One day while contemplating my purpose the Holy Spirit spoke to me in a kind and gentle voice saying, ” Who you are is me and I am you, your only purpose is me.”
With tears in my eyes it finally all made sense!
I recalled John 14:18-21 when Jesus told his disciples, “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you. Before long, the world will not see me anymore, but you will see me. Because I live, you also will live. On that day you will realize that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you. Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.” (John 14:18-21 NIV).
I realized that all that matters is who Jesus is.
I don’t have to worry about all that other stuff and have the weight of the world fall on my shoulders. Jesus said to take up his yoke because the burden is light. For non-believers the thought of surrendering yourself to God sounds like bondage but the truth is the more you serve God the more freedom you gain.
I get lost and confused when I start thinking about doing everything in life alone, the devil makes you feel alone to cut you off from God. He tells you you’re worthless and you don’t belong anywhere.
1 Corinthians 6: 19-20 says, ” Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.” ( 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 NIV).
What a relief! I don’t belong to me!
I’m so messed up that most days I don’t want to be with me but Jesus wanted me so bad that he died for me and took me to be his. With the Holy Spirit we are never alone in the deepest parts of the forest. He leads me through the wilderness when I can not see in front of me. As God pulls me into the light where the sun shines on my face, he brings warmth to my soul. I praise him for the darkness because only in the dark can we see light. Jesus said to the Pharisees in John 8:12, ” I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.” (John 8:12 NIV).
We don’t have to get trapped in the dense jungle of our minds, we simply need to give up control to God so that he can lead us out. Our purpose is not our own but his. If we surrender to his glory we will always win because he has overcome the world!
When your mind seems to take you through the darkness, remember to call out to God so he can light your way out.