It was one Sunday afternoon when I took my beagle Bj to play ball at our creek. The sun was shining and the valley echoed with Bj’s bark as I threw the extra large tennis ball out into the water. The ball was slippery with creek water and drool making it difficult to hold.
As I threw it, I released it too early and it veered off into a section of rocks Bj never goes in. As he fetched the ball his paws slipped between the rocks, he yelped in pain as I stood confused on the bank. He limped to the edge of the water and dropped the ball at my feet. I knew something was wrong as he hobbled over and whined.
I looked closer at his front left paw and noticed his dew claw was sticking out at a right angle. It was broken as blood poured out of the nail bed. For a second I felt panic because I didn’t know what to do. It stopped bleeding and we slowly walked back to the house where I could take a better look at it. It looked painful and I was afraid to touch it so I left it alone.
I called the vets office early the next morning and got Bj an appointment to have it examined. I wasn’t there long until they told me Bj needed to have his nail amputated because it broke at the nail bed and the nerves were exposed. He was at higher risk of developing an infection with it being open and that was a risk I didn’t want to take.
They came in the room and took his leash from my hand. Even though it was a simple procedure they have probably preformed thousands of times, I still felt my eyes fill up with tears and my heart sink into my stomach as I watched him walk away. I walked out of the building feeling lost. I drove up the road to a pet store where they had Bj’s favorite ball and got him a new one to replace the one he lost in the woods a few months ago.
Instead of going home and then driving back out to pick up Bj, I went to my aunt and uncle’s house not far from the vets office where I stayed for several hours. I was happy to spend some time with them because it meant I wasn’t constantly thinking about Bj. We went for lunch and had a nice visit together. God always puts the people you need in your life when you need it most.
My phone rang and it was the vet telling me Bj was ok and I could pick him up in two hours. For the next two hours I constantly checked the clock on my phone waiting for 2 o’clock to roll around.
Finally it was time! I jumped in the car and drove up the road back to the vets office.
I walked in the door eagerly waiting to see Bj walk out of the back room. Finally I see him! I get up and start walking towards him only to have him glare at me and try to walk away from me. I reached out to pet him and he pulled away, I knew I broke his trust by letting strangers take him away to the back room. Deeply saddened I hugged him, took him to the car, and drove him home.
After we got home I sat down with him to tell him I was sorry but I did what was best for him at the time. I didn’t want him to get worse and couldn’t imagine my life without him. I was trying to hold back the tears when I looked at Bj and said, “even though you couldn’t see me, I never left.” In that moment I heard the Holy Spirit say, “and that’s how your Father in Heaven feels all the time.”
I sat back against the dog crate and felt like my view widened and my understanding deepen. I left Bj alone with people I hardly knew and trusted them because of their education, skills, and gifts. I knew even though I wasn’t in the room that he was in good hands and I wouldn’t be far away. He was shaking and trembling with fear as they took him away because he didn’t understand what was happening. I understood and was at ease with my decisions for him to get the surgery because I could see the bigger picture.
So many times God uses people to help each other and use the gifts he has bestowed upon them to share his blessings. Some days we might be hurt, lost, and feel like we’re walking with strangers into an unknown back room in an unfamiliar place wondering where God is. Wondering why he left us with these people and then being mad at him for doing what is best for us.
We don’t always understand God’s plan or reason for doing things but I promise you, it doesn’t matter if you can’t see him in the room because he never left.
“Indeed, our lives are guided by faith, not by sight.”
2 Corinthians 5:7
Bj did accept the new ball I got him and forgave me. He is laying in the recliner with me as I type this.
What a beautiful story!
Thank you!